Friday, March 26, 2010

Lessons From Life - The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river.

The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet... The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet.. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.

Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'

The Moral of The Story:
This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today.
We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make
us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be
bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us.

We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony.

Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'.

We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river.

This will immediately remove all our agonies.
There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.


aly said...

Salam Pak Su,
what if i'm still stuck for things that the 'pretty lady' had done to me?
what if i'm still stuck for the sweet-promises that the 'pretty lady' had promised me?
should i let go of the 'pretty lady' immediately after crossing the river?
keep waiting to the 'pretty lady' do as in the sweet-promises..? (even i dont know if the 'pretty lady' had lied to me)

p/s:sorry for the bad english

Pak Su Man MAS said...

Salam Aly.
Anything and everything that we do or decide is an effort that is within our influence & control.

Similarly to forgive & forget... to be angry or to remain calm... to buy this or to buy that...all within our control. I call it "choice". So we can chose our action. Because we are in full control of our voluntary actions, then to let go or not the past or the unpleasantness is a choice that we can make.

If it is people that make us feel hurt through their promises, then we have a choice either to continue to feel hurt or to move forward and be happy.

How to move forward?
Stop thinking about the bad memories, stop bringing it back into your life again & again.

I wish you the best & hope that my short explanation help you to get over the bad episode in your life, and provide you with the strength to be happy & move forward.

Pak Su Man

aly said...

pak su,
million thanks for ur advice :)
i'll keep trying to stop thinking bout the bad episodes in my life.
hermm pak su, betul ke lelaki akan rasa tercabar bila pasangannya lebih berjaya dari dia, dan lelaki akan kejar cita-cita dia dulu sebelum fikirkan kehidupan bersama pasangannya..

Pak Su Man MAS said...

Salam Aly.
Lelaki akan rasa tercabar, jika itu yang dia hendak rasa. So terpulang kepada kehendak dia sendiri. Sebaliknya, dia tidak akan rasa tercabar, jika dia bersyukur dan menganggap bahawa kejayaan pasangan nya juga adalah kejayaan bagi nya.

Perlumbaan yang sebenar adalah dengan diri sendiri (to continuously self-improve).

Bukan sahaja lelaki, perempuan pon akan mengejar cita-cita masing2 juga.

Dan jawapan kepada soalan Aly "benar kah lelaki akan kejar cita-cita dia dulu sebelum fikirkan kehidupan bersama pasangannya..".

Jawapan itu ada kepada diri dan tuan badan masing2 jika itu yang dia kehendaki dan pilih, atau sebaliknya.

It is about the choice to decide what is good & what is not. Lelaki atau perempuan is responsible for the consequences of their own decision.

Pak Su Man

aly said...


mekaseh byk2 ^_^
doumo arigatou gozaimasu ^_^
syukran jazilan ^_^
xie xie ^_^

aly said...

eh 1 more
thank you very much paksu!

Mariyam said...

You have relaly great work in your blog.

Pak Su Man MAS said...

Salam Mariyam.
Thank you for visiting my blog... InsyaAllah, I pray that Allah continue to give me good health & time to carry on sharing thoughts with everyone...
Pak Su Man

Anonymous said...

Salam Pak Su,

terima kasih utk cerita yg simple tapi byk infonya...

Pak Su Man MAS said...

Wa'alaikumussalam anon.
Terima kasih kerana visit blog Pak su man. Ini lah realiti kehidupan .... in moving forward, kita belajar dari the past, be more forgiving, & lepaskan sangka buruk for a meanigful purpose in life. Peringatan kpd diri Pak Su sendiri dan juga sekurang-kurangnya dapat dihayati oleh pembaca2 yg budiman.
- Pak Su Man